So last night I found myself in the most bizarre and surreal experience being trapped in an elevator for over an hour – it seriously felt like a scene out of a horror film. Rewind an hour earlier and 9 of us merry folk entered an elevator and failed to read the small print, stating ‘max occupancy 8 people’.
Apparently, that’s a thing and resulted in 9 very different characters being stuck together for over an hour.
We had all been at an engagement party and were on our way to an after party so luckily, I was already a bottle of wine and 2 expresso martini’s down, which meant I found the whole scenario hilarious. For the ones that were claustrophobic, it was their worst nightmare.
The whole experience played out like the Lord of The Flies novel with no clear direction on how to best survive . Luckily, I had the composure to put together a plan and initiate a 3-step process to ensure we all survived the ordeal.
Step 1 – Stay calm
This step was easier said than done and for the first 20 minutes everyone was cool but once the clock struck the 21st minute panic took the room. As an FYI panicking in an enclosed area is never a good idea especially when you have the illusion that oxygen is going to run out. At one point everyone sat down to save oxygen; apparently there’s more oxygen lower down in a lift.
Step 2 – Stay hydrated
Earlier I mentioned we were off to an after party, so luckily a few people had ‘provisions’, and therefore I ensured everyone stayed well hydrated. Sharing is caring.
Step 3 – Sacrifice the weakest
Once the clock struck the 58th minute, it was obvious that the human race had to continue and that the only way to survive was to sacrifice the weak. The only way to determine this was for everyone to give a reason why they should live and the person next to them be sacrificed.
Funny enough, everyone talked about their occupation and for some whilst they were giving their ultimate elevator pitch, could see that they were thinking in their head ‘I’m not that satisfied in my job’ – probably not the best idea to request your last rights when asked to give your reason why you should live.
My elevator pitch: the world needs music and I’m responsible for ensuring Ed Sheeran has enough strings on his guitar.
Luckily when the clock struck the 61st minute (queue Mariah Carey, Hero) the firefighters set us free and as it turned out we had only travelled half a yard from the ground floor.
Anyway, if you ever find yourself stuck in an elevator and have 20 seconds to explain why you should live, you need to be punchy, embellish, and sell yourself. This is the ultimate way to get ahead and not be sacrificed.
Have a great day everyone,
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